Something to Die For
by Mari Grem
Summary: Each chapter stands alone. What each character really thinks, and how they really feel about life, love, eachother, death, and dying. This is not a prequel or a series. I deleted its sequel! PLease Review!
1. Dobby

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and Friends.**

**A/N: Each chapter stands alone. They may be short, they may be long, but they are each special, and I promise the first one is the worse, the rest are really good. You try talking like a house elf and see how easy it is!**

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Dobby

I is Dobby the House elf. Missy Hermione not like house elves work for wizards, but I not mind. I like Harry Potter because Harry Potter rescue Dobby from evil Malfoys. Now I is working in Hogwarts with friend Winky.

I is knowing about the Order. Dumblydore tell Dobby lots. I is very happy knowing about Order, it make me feel special.

No one is knowing more than I about Hogwarts students. I is hearing everything.

No one is knowing the importance of Dobby and friends. Dobby is protecting students. I is dying for Hogwarts, and I is never felling better, because I is finally having something to die for.


	2. The Order

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, and most of the events of which they speak are not mine either.**

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The Order

We are an unstoppable force. Millions could die, but someone would rise again. We are the force of Light, and we are invincible.

We are the Order of Phoenix. A myth among the common Wizards, but those educated know better. They know that we exist, because without us, Voldemort would have already taken over, and the world would be a mess of evil and Darkness.

Harry Potter may need to defeat the dark Lord. But he will not be alone. We will be there, watching, waiting, helping him to the best of our ability.

There are many of us. We work secretly and effectively. And when all of us have gone, and we are but a myth, always remember, many of us had very little to live for, but we all had something to die for. We will die for the Light, and the dream the goodness will prevail.

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**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

Yes well, I do hope that you liked that. Now, I have some insight for you. Something I think you should all ponder.

I am writing this story after a quote "If you ain't got nothing to live for, you best find something to die for!" So yes, these chapters are extremely short, but they are also very insightful.

Now, I know where I am going with this. In the end, I plan on making a sequel. This will include Harry's thoughts on each topic discussed. It will most likely be titled "Something to Live For." So, if you wait a few months, this story should be done and the sequel will be out.

Okay, love you, please review, and the next chapter will be longer, atleast two hundred words.

Please Review!

-Cole


	3. The Trio

**Discliamer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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The Trio

We are the Golden Trio. The three of us have been best friends forever. Even before birth we were sworn to eachother.

Harry is the fighter, the leader, and our savior. But without us he would be nothing, he needs us, as much as we need him.

Ron is the Jokester. Without him, my brains and Harry's cynical attitude would not be balanced, and we would both be could and absolute.

And then there is me, the brainy tomboy. I use logic to fight fear, wisdom to outwit evil, and so far, I have been victorious.

Ginny, Neville, and Luna are our friends, and we love them. But it is not the same. Our love for eachother is stronger than any love. We will never break, because we are bound by an unspoken agreement to be true to eachother, and to stand together against all odds.

We are the Golden Trio. We will never be broken. Pain will not break us, Love will not destroy us, and death will not end us. For we are Unbreakable.

Ron, Harry, and I have little to live for besides eachother. If one dies, we will all die. So yes, we do have something to live for, but we have much more to die for.

**Cole's Useless Rambling**

212 words. See I told you I could do it, and you doubted me. I would like to shout out to Alex. Because she is the best! Also, I think all serious writers should check out the column Writer's Attic which, in Alex's terms, I love to bits! So, please review. As you see, I didn't say who would win Hermione' heart in the end, but unless you are a blind Ron lover you'd see…Shit, now I said too much.

Review!

-Cole


	4. Sirius

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing!**

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Sirius Black

Harry was my lifeline. He saved me from a fate worse than death. He believed my innocence, and I love him for it.

Harry is his father's better half. He has his father's charm and his mother's love.

I was willing to risk everything for him, and I did. But not after he did the same for me, I am forever grateful that he did.

Harry was the son I never had. And I guess I was the father he never had. But now I'm gone, and he has Remus.

I had a reason to live for, and that reason was Harry. But in the end, he was also my reason to die. Harry was my thing to die for, and I am forever grateful that he gave me a chance to redeem myself. If only Wormtail could do the same.

I had Harry to die for. And I did. The second greatest sacrifice, dying for the one you love. The greatest being dying for the one you hate, but, alas, I am not that strong. I could never die for Wormtail. But I could die for Harry…

Cole's Useless Rambling

A VERY BIG shout out to Beuamontrulz. Cuz she is the absolute best! I hate this chapter. Why? Because I love Sirius, but I couldn't capture his Siriusness. So, that's a problem. Go ahead and flame this chapter, I deserve it!


	5. Love of a Slytherin

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!**

Pansy Parkinson

I love him. I love him so, so much. I don't know why I love him, I'm not suppose to. I'm not suppose to love him. Why? Because he will never love me. He _can't_ love me, because he has never felt love, will never feel love, and thus, cannot love.

I watch him. I watch him as he sneaks out of the common room at night, brings in a cute thing from another house, and leads her upstairs. I watch him as he goes to any girl willing and takes them as his own. Even I, who am sworn to never give myself to someone who will degrade me, I have given myself to him.

He is evil. He will always be evil. The Dark Side will always be His Side. But I still love him. I love him because he is perfect. He is strong and determined, and willing, and bright, and damn him, he is so handsome, so very, very sexy.

I love him, but he ill never love me. I love Draco Malfoy, king of Slytherin. But he will never love me, his queen.

And in the final war, as we fight those just Hufflepuffs, wise Ravenclaws, and brave Gryffindors, I will be at his side, and I will die. Because my love for him had given me something to die for.

Cole's Useless Babbleing

So, what do you guys think? I think I got Pansy's Pansyness, but it don't mean shit what I think. So review, please, Or I'll cry.

I know, I know, Draco and Pansy, who didn't see that coming? But seriously, Hermione is too smart and good for him, Luna too strange, and Ginny, well Ginny deserves better. I do like the fics where Draco changes and Ginny falls for him, those are cute.

Please review guys. I really need feedback on my writing styles.

-Cole


	6. The Last Brother

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: This is the revised chapter**

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The Marauders

I am the last true Marauder. I am the last of the Brotherhood. And I swear that we will not die in vain.

Sirius always said he wanted immortality. He never wanted to die. He never wanted to loose his popularity; he said being famous for being in Azkaban was the only thing worse than not being known.

James, too, said he wanted us to be legends. He wanted to pass on the greatness to our sons. Well I have no sons, nor did Sirius, and Wormtail deserves no recognition, although he has no sons either. Harry is the heir to the Marauder throne, and I will do hat I can to place him there.

I will not allow our efforts to be wasted. We fought as true Order members. We were the best and the brightest of our year. We were among the greatest in dueling and strategy. Stealth was our expertise. We were invaluable.

But now there is no we. There is simply I. I am the last Marauder. But I am not the first. And I will not let our legacy be mocked. My friends, our Legacy, our immortality. These three things are what I live for. And yet, they are also what I will die for.


	7. The Whitest Part of Black

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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The Blacks

My name is Nymphadora Tonks. I am one of the three last living members of the esteemed Black Family, one of the most evil wizarding families in the world, and I am a top member of The Order of Phoenix, fighting for light and goodness.

My family is one of the most screwed up you will ever meet. We were all involoved in this war. But we were all on different sides. My mother, Andromeda, fought on the good side, while her sisters, Bellatrix and Narcissa, fight for Voldemort. My cousin, Sirius fought for light, where as his brother was a strong supporter of the Dark Lord.

Narcissa, Bellatrix, and I are the last ones left. My _Aunts_ are evil bitches that deserve to die.

Yet they are the things that keep me alive. For I want to be the last Black Family Member to die, besides my children.

So I do have something to die for. My family's reputation as a supporter of the Light is what I have to die for. But first I must see Bellatrix and Narcissa to their graves

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**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

Okay, I love this chapter. I adore Tonks, and I hate Bella and Narcissa, so they can both go to hell. I promise, the last chapter of this story will have the death count. I just have to figure out who to kill and who to keep alive.

Thanks to all my reviewers, and please check out my other story!

-Cole


	8. I Live for Hope, I Die for Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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Hope

The world is a dark, cold place. It is a place that has no love, no pleasure, no happiness. At least it would be if we had no hope. And that is why I am here, to give us hope.

Many people know my name, all around the world I am the famous Albus Dumbledore. I have many titles, Head of the Wizamont, Headmaster of Hogwarts, to name a few. But I am simply a man. I am a man who has hope, and who can instill it in others.

I am wise, I admit to this. And I know how to use my wisdom for good. I know how to understand people, and I know how to help them. That is why I keep living, to help others, to keep others alive.

But, I may not be able to keep others alive while living in this war. I will most likely have to die to save the lives of Harry Potter and his many friends.

So I live to bring hope to others. And keeping others alive is what I will die for.

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Cole's Useless Ramlings**

**Okay, thank you guys so mouch for the reviews. I truly like Cyber((something))'s review. Ilike to think that my writing is "profound" **

**So please continue reviewing**

**-Cole**


	9. This Wasn't Supposed to Happen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

**A/N: Thank you soooo much for reviewing. Oh, and I'm going to up the rating to PG-13, due to some people complaining.**

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This Wasn't Suppose To Happen

My name is Molly Prewett Weasley, and I'm here to tell you, that this wasn't supposed to happen. Lily and James were not supposed to die. Harry was not supposed to be an orphan. My kids weren't supposed to fight he-who-must-not-be-named.

But life never goes as it's suppose to, so I guess we should have expected this. We should have expected so many people to die fighting against this "Dark Lord." He has no right to be called a lord, so from now on, I will call him by his name, Tomas Marvalo Riddle. Voldemort is not a name, it is a wall to hide behind.

My kids deserve better than this. Two of them already risked their lives in this war, what's to say the others won't die because of it? I have to stay alive for my kids, but if duty calls, they're one of the few things I'm willing to die for.


	10. Not Much to Live for

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: Please read Cole's Useless Ramlings. It is very, very important**

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Not much to Live for

I love Hermione. And I hope she loves me. If not, well…I wouldn't have anything to live for.

I live for the chance to love Hermione, to hold her in my arms. To finally tell her that I love her. I'm afraid of the rejection, yet I need her to know.

I guess everyone saw it. Everyone tells me that we belong together. They saw fighting is the first sign of true love. If that's the case, Malfoy and Harry should have been married long, long ago.

Yet I still love her. I love her more than I thought possible, and now that Harry and Luna are together, well…I think I can go for it.

I don't have much to live for, only Hermione's love, and if she dies, than I will die. Hermione, I will die for her.

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**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

I decided to change my shipping. After rereading all of the facts, I realize that Hermione and Ron belong together. _The_ _Letters_ will stay as a Hermione/Harry fic. But this one is now Ron/Hermione. If this causes you to stop reading, than I am very sorry for the inconvenience.

-Cole


	11. Living to Die, yet Dieing to Live

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!**

**A/N: Thanks so much for reviewing!**

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Living to Die, but Dieing to Live

Most of my students fear me, and those that do not hate me. No one has ever understood me, no one has gone through the pain I have suffered. No one understands what I must endure every day.

No one sees the pain in my eyes when I hear a snide remark about me, either said by a student or a teacher. It doesn't really matter, because I chose this path long ago. I chose it when I was but a child.

I did know what I was getting myself in to; I'm not going to pretend that the Dark Lord tried to butter me up. He didn't have heart enough for that. But all I knew was that by joining him, I could have power.

I grew with time, and finally I realized how evil Voldemort was. I went to Dumbledore for a second chance. He granted this request, under one condition. I would have to join the Order.

I did this readily, although few accepted me. And now, even during the second war, after I have proven my loyalty, they still shun me.

Why? Because I'm a slime ball. Because I wear the Dark Mark. And mostly because I hated James Potter.

But I don't hate Harry. Truly I don't. I just act this way because he is a Potter, and I have hated Potters all of my life. So why should he be any different.

My whole life, I have been waiting to die. Waiting for a chance to get out of this human prison. A chance to prove myself by dying for what I believe in.

Yet, I have also been dying to lie. I have been dying for a chance to throw caution to the wind and smile. To give someone a hug. To talk to a student, really talk to them, not just reproach them.

But I would never do this. My whole life, my whole life has been spent trying to prove myself to someone.

I would die for love. I would die for someone to give me a hug, a kind word, a small smile. Love, that is what I would die for.

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Cole's Useless Ramblings_**

My 'b' key is mad at me. It keeps getting stuck. So if any word should have a b in it, and it doesn't please lame my computer. Her name is ACYAT ((AHK YET)). It stands for always crashing yet always there.

So, what do you think of Snape. I'm not one of those Snape sympathizers. In fact, I hate Snape. But I wanted to try and get his thoughts down on paper. So, yeah, go on and flame me, just please, review.


	12. You Don't Understand!

**Discalimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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You Don't Understand

I don't hate Harry. I do not despise him. I pity him, and I…well I guess I do hate him. He is the last reminder of Lily. Lily was the only sister I ever had. The only person to love me completely. And I shunned her because she was different.

The last thing I ever said to my sister was "Good bye Freak," and you want to know what perfect Lily responded with? "I love you Petunia, I really do wish you didn't hate me."

Then she went and got herself blown up, and I got her son. He is a constant reminder of the only person to ever love me. Every time I look at Harry, I feel the sadness tug at my heart.

I do not hate Harry. I wish him the best. But I can't bring myself to be nice to him. I may hate Harry, but him and Dudley are the only people I'd be willing to die for.

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Cole's Useless Ramblings **_

Okay, B key is still fucked up...so ya, I'm screwed...it's not my fault if words have no b.

Now, I know, people always make Petunia seem innocent in their fanfics. It's so cliche. And I promised a non cliche' story. But I didn't make her nice, I made her human. Doesn't that count? All I've done through this whole fic is try to make people seem human.

So, please review, and check out my 6th year fic, Harry Potter and The Choice


	13. Beauty and the Beast

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Harry Potter.**

**A/n: Please read chapter 10 again, it is ver important that you read this chapter. If you want to review to chapter ten, please review along with this chapter.

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Beauty and the Beast**

Ever since we hooked up, that is the name we have been given. My beloved Ginny was given the title beauty, and I beast.

I guess the title fits me. I'm not exactly handsome or skinny, and I'm also very clumsy. I am smart though, I give myself that much, but besides intelligence and humor, I don't have any characteristics of the 'perfect guy'.

When Ginny said that she would go to theYule Ball with me, it was one of the happiest days of my life. I honestly think that I've never been happier. I didn't think someone so perfect would ever fall for me…but Ginny did.

Soon our relationship progressed, I remember the feeling of our first kiss, the first time we made love, and the look of pure dread on her face when I almost died.

When Ron found out he was ecstatic, he never thought that me and his little sister would wind up together. He always thought it would e her and Harry. But then again…he never thought it would be Harry and Luna, so I guess this was expected. Ron even offered to pay for the wedding; this was before I had even thought of proposing. We simply laughed and I said that _I _would be paying for the wedding.

Ginny's all I have. She's the only one who has accepted me for me, not because I'm Harry's friend. Not because she pities me, but because I'm me. I love her. And I hope she loves me. I think that there is only Ginny, only Ginny am I willing to die for.


	14. Strangely Beautiful

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!**

**A/n: This is the revised chapter it does not have grammatical mistakes ((I think!!)) I adore this chapter. I mean I asolutely LOVE it! Okay, so thanks to all of my reviwers, especially the ones that are still here after I changed the pairings. So...yeah...please review!**

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Strangely Beautiful

No one saw us coming. No one would believe that _the_ Harry Potter had chosen 'Loony' Lovegood over every other girl in the world. No one would believe it, no one that is, except me.

I love Harry Potter. It's honestly that simple. I am madly in love with the 'boy-who-lived', but not because of what he is, because of who he is.

Harry is brave, passionate, smart, and loyal. He is also ale to see below the surface. And I guess, maybe, that was why I let him in.

I've always kept myself guarded. I've never let anyone see who I really was, any one, that is, besides Ginny and Harry. I love them both very much. Ginny is my sister, the only one who I consider a 'best' friend. And Harry…Harry is my soul mate. He is my other half.

It's funny really, love springs from death. If Sirius hadn't have died, well, we wouldn't have gotten together.

Harry does consider me strange, and I admit to being strange. But as Harry says, I am strangely beautiful, and he wouldn't want me any other way.

And now this war is upon us. And so many people are dying every day. And the pain seems to intensify. And, and Harry has to win. He has to risk his life to save the world.

I would die for many things. I would die for understanding, but Harry and Ginny have given me this. I would die for friends, but I already have Ginny, Harry, Ron, Neville, and Hermione. And I would die for a chance. I would die for a chance that the world will go on. That good will prevail, and evil will once again, recoil in fear. A chance that the world will survive, that is what I will die for.


	15. I Didn't Know

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter  
A/N: Look under Cole's Useless Ramblings**

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I Didn't Know

I didn't know. Why doesn't anyone believe me? I didn't know what was happening. I didn't understand. It wasn't my fault.

He possessed me. Not the other way around. He ruined my life. I didn't do anything to him. Voldemort is just an evil scumbag who deserves nothing, no love, no pity, no second chances.

I did though. I deserved love, pity, second chances. Because I didn't know.

But now I do. I know now what I've gotten myself into. I know that by helping Harry in this war, my death is all but guaranteed. And, honestly, I don't care anymore.

Why should I? The only thing I have is Neville and my family. I don't have any real friends besides Luna, Harry, and Hermione. And the only reason they are my friends is because of this stupid war.

And yet, I don't want to die. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it's my love of risk and adventure, maybe it's because I've finally fallen in love. Or maybe…just maybe…it's because life isn't so bad after all.

I don't know what I would die for, not really. My family, yes, my friends, Neville. But truly, winning this war, seeing others free, that is what I would die for.

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**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

Okay, first off, I want to apologize for not updating, if you want to kill me, go ahead.

Second, I want to say thanks for all of my loyal reviewers, who are still here. If anyone is wondering where my other story has gone, I need a break from chapter fanfics to work on my original story, which is about fifty pages long. So maybe after the holidays...maye than I'll write a new fanfic novel.

Okay, look for a new story soon. I'm debating an idea in my head. I also plan on writing a few one-shots over the holidays. I should write a sixth year fic by febrauary, if you wanna stick around.

I hope you liked this chapter, I don't know how well I portrayed Ginny. Please review!

-Cole


	16. Nothing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A/N: Please read Cole's Useless Ramblings!**

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Nothing

I have nothing to die for. I feel no remorse for those I have killed, so I would not die for redemption. I feel no pain, so I would not die to end sorrow. I feel no happiness, so I would not die for love.

I refuse to die. What is the reason of death? When a person dies, they loose all of their power. They become a memory. And so, I refuse to die.

I live for power. I lie to defeat the fucking boy-who-lived. Harry Potter, he will die. He will die at my hand, no matter what I must do to achieve this goal, it will happen.

But I will not die. They cannot kill me. They cannot kill me because if they do, all of the things I have done, everything I have worked for, will be gone. So I have everything to live for, and nothing to die for.

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**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

Okay, hey everybody. I hope all of the Christians had a Merry Christmas ((Buon Natale, Froliche Wienerstag, Feliz Navidad...)) the Jews a Happy Hanukka, the ??? a Joyous Kwanza, the Hindus ((I think)) a Happy Ramadan ((sp)), and the Wiccans a Happy Yule. ((Well, technically, Yule is tonight according to the moon charts. But people usually celebrate it on the solstice, not the full moon)))

Now, on to business. Who do you think this is written about? If you guessed Voldemort, then you're right. If not, I suggest you read it over.

People, I need more characters to write about. I'm already considering Pettigrew, Bellatrix, Fred and George, Percy,and Fudge. If you can think of anyone else, please include it in your review, it would mean alot to me.

Happy New Year ((Froliche Neu Jahr!)) and Please review!

-Cole


	17. Forgive but don't Forget

**Disclaimer: I do not own Peter, Harry, James, Lily, Sirius, or Lupin.**

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I used to be their best friend, I used to belong to the most popular group of kids in Hogwarts, I used to be a Marauder, a person that fights for good, even if they did have a little too much fun. I used to be Peter Pettigrew, but now, now I'm Wormtail.

My friends never gave up on me, they would have died for me, they thought I would do the same for them, but they were wrong. I sold James out to Voldemort, and with James went Lily. Lily accepted me, even if I was the short, ignorant, and stupid one. And you know what I did after I earned her and James' trust? I killed them both.

Most people would find me heartless, say that I have no soul, that I deserve to die and rot until even my fellow rats are disgusted with me. But I do have a heart, and you want to know how I know I have a heart? I know I have a heart because when I first met Harry again, I was near tears. He was so much like James, he was so brave and honest. But he had his mother's eyes, and his mother's mercy. I still love Harry like the nephew he was meant to be to me, but I can't go back to the light, not after everything I did. And besides, I don't want to. The Dark Lord is the key to power, and power is more important than love.

And yet, there are times when I think back, and I remember the Marauders. I remember our monthly adventures, our daily pranks, and the way we could get away with anything, as long as James smiled and Sirius talked. And remember those times, the times when I was young and innocent, I realize that I did love, and that I still do. As amazing as it sounds, I still love Moony and Padfoot and Prongs.

And so, I do love. I do not love the dark Lord, I respect him, I fear him, and I guess I use him, but I do not love him. I do not love power, I need it to survive, but I do not love it. Just because you need something, it doesn't necessarily mean that you want it.

I would die for Harry. I would die for Harry because I owe it to him. Because one Potter needs to live on and fix the curse that I have laid on his family. Someone needs to take James' and Lily's place as the head of the Potter family. I would die for Harry because he saved my life, even after I killed his parents, sent his godfather to Azkaban, and brought back the Dark Lord, Harry Potter save my life, he tried to forgive me, something no one has done since James' died.

Forgiveness, that is what I would die for.

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**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

I hope everyone had a happy holiday. This was Peter Pettigrew, I hope you liked it. I am not a Wormtail Sympathizer, but I wanted to capture his character ((sniveling coniving bastard that he is)) So did you like it? Hate it? Think it was the worse thing you've ever read?

Tell me in a review.

Happy Hollidays,

Cole


	18. What I Could Have Been

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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I am the last true Black left, and I'll be damned if I let my incompetent fool of a sister or my angelic neice out-live me. I'll be damned if they ruin the Black family name, because, Seriously, that's all I got left.

You probably don't pity me, probably think I deserve it, but if you knew the truth you'd think differently. You see, I'm worse off than Voldemort, at least he had a choice. I didn't.

I was the strongest of the three of us. No, I wasn't actually, Andromeda was stronger. But she had already sworn herself to the light side, so I was daddy's next pick. Narcissa was spoiled, she was fragile and nobody gave her a second glance. Yes, she was beautiful, she looked just like a Black, and all Blacks looked good, but there was nothing truly special about her. So it was left to me, I was forced to work for evil, not that I would choose differently if I was given the choice. I was brought up Dark and evil, so truly, the moment I was born a Black my whole life was planned out for me.

Oh yes, I could have fought back, I could have been rebellious like Andromeda or Sirius, but I wasn't, and I'll always hate myself for that. Over the years, however, that hatred has been numbed. I am no longer ashamed of the Darkness, I love power, I thrive off of it, and the Dark Lord has given me power, I dare not refuse him now.

So, I became the perfect Black. I was the perfect daughter, the perfect bully, and the perfect Death Eater. I could take orders and distribute orders, and no matter how vile they were, they were always carried out. I could kill someone without a second glance. I watched as my sister died. Andromeda was my role model before I turned dark. She had power. She was able to escape my fate, and for that I have always envied her. I watched my sister as she died, and then I killed her husband a few years later.

I have killed many people in my day, but the worse was Sirius. Sirius believed in me when we were younger. The day before I left for school he said "You can do it Bella, I know you can." But I proved him wrong. I became a Slytherin and got tight with Malfoy, biggest mistake of my life. But hey, shit happens, I could have changed.

The look on his face as he fell through the veil was enough to break me. Inside I was crying hysterically, every bone in my body was urging me to fall to the ground and cry. I've never cried. Not once in my life, through my father's beatings and all the Death Eater shit I've gone through, I've never let a single tear fall. And that is my greatest weakness, I have never felt enough to cry. But Sirius' death was enough for me to cry, and when that Potter brat came after me, acting as a true Death Eater was the hardest act I've ever had to pull. I wanted to beg his forgiveness, but instead I mocked him. I was a good little Death Eater.

God, If I could have Sirius back, I'd give up everything. He was the only one who believed that I could be good, that I could change. But I didn't, and he grew to hate me. What I wouldn't give to relive that day at the train station, when Sirius promised me that I could change if I really wanted to. That was the best day of my life.

If only someone else had believed in me. If only I had made friends with the Gryffindors. I would give anything to become what I could have been. I would die for it.

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**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

Hey everybody, Okay three things:

1) This is Bellatrix. If you can't figure that out, I feel very sorry for you

2) I feel like shit, so if you want to flame me, expect me to become very violent

3)I expected everyone to hate Wormtail.I really really did. So I didn't mind it in the least when people said he didn't deserve it.

4) I know, you said three Cole, but here's four. I don't expect you to agree with me on this one. But these are my views. Poeple aren't born evil, they're made evil. And Bella's just so cool once you get past the fact that she's evil, that I had to be a little nice to her. So go ahead and flame, I'll just be really mean.

-Cole


	19. A Chance at A Normal Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: This is both Fred and George's but there are two different essays. Look for the first break!**

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Life wasn't suppose to be like this. It was suppose to be easy, carefree, and fun. Instead it's hard, worrisome, and un fun.

I joined the Order to restore peace, to make things normal again. Why? Because I know what it's like to live in a normal world, without the threat of a dark lord. And I know what it's like to loose that world in a matter of second. I want to make the world normal again, I want it to be the way it once was, before Voldemort was even heard of.

I know there are many people who have been affected by this war alot worse than me or George have, Harry especially, but I still feel the pain. I still know what it's like waiting to die. And that's what hurts. Because I worry about things that haven't happened yet, but that I know will happen. And knowing that one of your aquantences is a dead man isn't the greatest feeling in the world.

When I joined the Order, I knew that from there on in, I was a marked man. Everywhere I went I had to be extra careful, and after putting up with Moody's training sessions, paranoia is one of my better traits.

So me and George joined the Order, and then Angelina and Alicia wanted to join. So they did. Angelina and I had a huge fight after that, but I just didn't want to see her hurt. Then Lee decided that if Alicia was in the Order, he was coming too. So now five of the six of us were in the Order.

Yes, the six of us. George, Alicia, Katie, Angelina, Jordan, and me have been best friends since first year, well second year in Katie's case since she's a year younger than us. So, of course, Katie joined the Order right after she graduated, and this scared George something awful. He's always been the worrywart of the two of us, so his fight with Katie was alot worse than the one I had with Angelina. In fact, they almost broke up over it, but in the end Katie explained to George that she was dead no matter what, so being able to fight and join the Order was the smartest decision she could make.

Yet, smart decision or not, I still hated making it. Not that I want to join the dark side, it's just that I don't want there to be and Order. I want Voldemort to disappear. want life to go back to normal.

Many people tell me I' shallow, that I don't understand life. And maybe I don't. But I do plan to live life to the fullest. In fact, I hope to live for a very, very long time. But somethings are worth dying for, Angelina, George, my family. But I think the one thing I would die for without hesitation would be for life to go back to normal. If my friends could have a normal life, I wouldn't minding dying for them to have that chance.

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Fred and I are twins, we do everything together. In fact, the only time you see us apart is when we're sleeping, peeing, showering, or out with out girlfriends. So, naturally, when Fred joined the Order, I followed.

It's not that I wasn't planning on joining myself. I just needed Fred to give me that extra push. I wasn't completely ready to risk my life for the light side, but now...now I'm ready for anything.

I was so scared when Katie decided to join. I didn't want her to get hurt, I didn't want her to feel the paranoia I felt. But she wouldn't listen, and now I fear for her life everyday.

Yet, she tells me there are things in this world that are worth dying for. She says that pain is natural, and that everyone is feeling it right now. Well, I have to admit that she is mostly right, but not everyone is feeling pain right now, not Voldemort.

Voldemort is a bastard, it's that simple. I hate him because he ruined my chance at a normal life. Of course I don't have much to complain about compared to Harry potter, but I still feel robbed.

Life is funny, it was going so great until we reached our one goal of owning a joke shop, then everything went down hill. The joke shop is doing great, in fact, we plan on expanding, but that's not the point. After we got our joke shop up and running, we joined the Order. And then Sirius died. Leaving Professor Lupin the last True Marauder. Life always seemed to like me and Fred, but now I'm not so sure.

Life isn't fair, I learned that the hard way. I've learned that for every good thing in your life, something bad's bound to happen. And so I'm more careful, more cynical, and more afraid. I fear for my life, and for the lives of my friends.

I can only pray that I make it through this war. I can only pray that I wake up to Katie's smiling face for the rest of my life, which I hope is very long. That is all I can do.

If there is one thing I want, it's a chance. A chance to end this war. Life will never be the way it once was, no matter what my brother may think, but I want this war to end. And I don't want more deaths. I would die to save someone else's life. Whether they be my best friend or someone I barely know, I would die for them, as long as I know that they will help to defeat Voldemort. I will die to protect the ones that can end this evil.

* * *

**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

Okay, so what did you think? Unlike most people, I showed that Fred and George are different, but they do share alot of the same traits. I also showed that they aren't as shallow as they may seem.

Okay, I'm starting a new story. I know, I know, Cole you already have two stories going, you're going to add a third? But it's like this one, a string of one-shots, so it won't interfere with this story or HBP. You people should read that story wink wink

Alright, later days,

-Cole


	20. When My World Comes Crashing Down

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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I left them, and I swear to God the sure as hell deserved it. How dare they defy the Ministry? How dare they bend all of the Wizarding Laws to their own will? Don't they realize that they are just as bad as the evil wizards they are trying to defeat? Don't they realize that they're all going to die anyway? How dare they make me choose between what is right and what is easy?

How dare I choose what is easy? They knew I would though, they knew I had a thirst for power, and that I would do anything to get it. They knew I would be too cowardly to risk my life to better the world. They knew I would take the easiest path, and they didn't do anything to stop me.

Not that they cared, my brothers always looked down on me, I was always too perfect for them. They hated me, they built up a loving facade, but I know that they think I am the world's biggest prick. And I guess in most ways I am.

So don't pity me, I'm not sure if I deserve it. And don't respect me, because I know I don't deserve it. And don't look at me and tell me that I can change, because I can't. I know I can't, Fudge knows I can't, but most of all, they know I can't, and that is what hurts most of all.

I can't change, because no one believes I can. If I had believed I could, then I would be in the Order now, trying to defeat Voldemort. But I don't, and that seems to be the greatest conflict. If they thought I could change, then one of them would come back for me, some one would try to reason with me. But I know they have given up. I know because when dad passes me at work, he can no longer look me in the eye, he is to ashamed of what I have become. And mum, I'm sure she is upset, and I'm sure she still has a spark of hope. But I also know that they have smothered it, smothered it to the point of near extinction.

If I go back, if I try to redeem myself, I will be shot down. I had my chance. I could have gone back, but after that note that I sent Ron, after I swore that Harry was a liar, I lost their trust forever.

So now I stick by Fudge, no mater what, I stick by him. I listen to the Howlers as they chase after him, and I do what he asks. And I don't find it fair at all, but I do it any way because it gives me power and it boosts my ego. My ego, my pride, that's what got me into this mess, but I keep feeding it. I keep wanting to feel bigger, more powerful. So I do what Fudge wants, I ignore my parents, but what happens when Fudge is gone? What happens when everything I've done wrong surfaces, and no one will let me back? What happens when my whole world comes crashing down one me?

The worst part, the absolute worst part of this whole mess, is that the only reason I won't back down, the only reason I won't go back, is my pride. I would do anything to get rid of my pride, to go back to my family. I would die for the chance to go back to my family, to let my pride and ego die, I would die for it.

* * *

**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

OKay, thanks for the reviews. I tried to seperate the twins and make them more indvidual, and I'm glad people picked up on that.

OKay, so this is Percy's chapter. Do you like it? I do, I wasn't sure how to end it, so towards the end it's a bit forced. Tell me what you think.

-Cole


	21. Leave You All Behind

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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I don't know what to do anymore. I have absolutely no idea what I should be doing, and it's truly driving me up the wall. The whole wizarding world is counting on me, they want me to save them. Look to Potter for help, he's the one who defeated You-Know-Who. Why the hell should I know what I'm doing? I'm only the Minister of Magic! I'm human too you know.

Why did I become Minister? Power. I wanted power, control, away to make everyone obey me. And I didn't want to join the dark side, to slippery, if you screw up, you die. As Minster, you screw up, you get impeached, now that's not so bad is it? No, I didn't think so. See, and all you people thought I was nuts.

I don't want to fight this war. I want to leave this war alone. I know that I have too much pride to be impeached, so I have chosen to step down. I could not bear the shame I would feel if I was impeached, and so this seems the reasonable option.

I've given up on caring for the other Witches in Wizards in the world. It's every man for himself now, so go ahead and hate me. As long as I live I couldn't care less.

Don't look at me with that you-arrogant-prick-you-are-so-self-centered look. Because I know it's all true. But I don't care, don't you understand that, I just don't care. I've given up on caring, because it doesn't matter, now does it? No, I didn't think so. Poeple still die, and power still corrupts, yet I search after it. I yearn for it, because power keeps me going.

I'm not one that believes in dying for anything. But I do regret something. I regret not listening to Dumbledore when he told me I wasn't Minister material. I want to go back to being that nobody I once was. Back then I was a loving person, now I'm simply cold and powerful. It's funny how me and the Dark Lord are so much alike, and yet I'm suppose to be leading the war against him.

There's not much I would die for. But there is one thing, I would die for the chance to be a normal man, with a happy wife, I would die to feel the normal hapiness of love, and not the cold emptiness of not having any emotion but fear and pride.

* * *

**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

I would like to welcome Julie and SCC it's so wonderful to have you with us. Pull up a chair, grab a snack, and enjoy!

Okay, I know this sounded alot like Voldemort or Harry, but it's not, it's Fudge. And yes, I know, I serioulsy fucked this chapter up. So don't blame me. This is the worst chapter I have written so far, alright, so leave me alone!

Any way, nexy chapter will be Draco, followed by McGonagall, finally Harry. No, I will not be doing Krum, because a) he isn't the least bit important, and b) I hate him ten-times more than I hate Fudge, who is my least favorite character.

Someone please remind me to update internal battles. I keep forgetting.

-Cole


	22. The Future

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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The day Lily and James Potter died I made a vow to them. I swore that their son would out-live both me and Dumbledore, and I will do all that is in my power to help Harry as the final battle approaches.

Lily and James were my favorite two students, so, naturally, Harry is my favorite student. He has gone through so much, and yet he can still love, and I view that as the most wonderful miracle in the world. A boy, who could not remember love, was still able to love, that is more miraculous than surviving certain death, which Harry has also done.

I promised myself that I would never let the furture die. I had let the future, Harry's present, almost die once. Had it not been for Remus Lupin, all of the Marauders' Legacy would be lost. I treasure Lupin because he is the last of my favorite students. Pettigrew is dead to me, and soon he shall be dead to the world too.

I will protect Harry and his friends no matter what the cost. I fight so that the future will continue on. I fight so that there is a brighter tomorrow. I fight so that the sun does come out. I will do anything for the future. I will fight for it to the death. For truly, the future is all that really matters.

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Cole's Useless Ramblings

I know, this is really really short, but I couldn't really capture McGonagall. I'm sorry for al of those who love her, she's one of my favorites too, but I couldn't capture her character, and I didn't want to destroy her, so...it just came out short.

The next chapter shall be that last. I hoped you liked the fanfiction. Be on the look out for the sequal. It'll probably be about two chapters long. A one-shot and the death list. PLease Review!

-Cole


	23. I Didn't Have a Choice

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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Cold. Hollow. Empty. You would never think that a person with no real emotion could feel all of this. And you're right, a person with no real emotion would be able to feel any of this. But you see, I have real emotion. Somehting nobody has ever realized. Something I barely recognize. But the emotion is there, and truly, I do care.

I was brought up a Slytherin. I was forced into this evil. My heart was taken from me at a very young age, and I became a brainwashed idiot. I only obeyed my father, for he was my world. Anything and everything he said was heaven sent. He was my bible, my bread, and my wine. I needed nothing else to survive besides his praise.

And his praise I was given. I became a Slytherin, like the good boy I was. I became the Ice Prince, I was the Slytherin Sex God, and nothing could stop me. I watched as the world around me fell apart, I watched as the darkness became more visible in everyday life. I watched as the innocence of my fellow classmates was lost, forced out of their lives by the Dark Lord and my father. And I cared not.

Or so I told myself.

I became a Death Eater. I followed in the footsteps of my father. Everything was going according to plan. I was so powerful, I was the son of one of the Dark Lord's most trusted followers. I was royalty.

And it was all so horrible. Everyday someone died. Every day Voldemort forced us to do the unthinkable. Every day I was sucked deeper and deeper into a world that knew no love, no happiness. It knew only fear, and pain, and power. And I hated it. I hated it because everyone I knew, everyone I told myself that I loved, they had no emotion. They were cold, icy, their hearts black holes that had no worth. And I was isolated.

Every day I would sit in the Common Room and stare blankly at the wall, knowing that I would be flooing to the Riddle Mansion that night. I would be killing an innocent that night. I would walk through the school, people would watch me. They knew what I was, and they feared me for it. But Potter and his group still spit on me. They still viewed me as worhtless, and I truly believe that they are the people I respected most. The people I loved most, because they saw me for what I was. A heartless, empty bastard.

Kiling was the worst part. Watching innocent people as the life drained from their eyes. Knowing that I was the reason their lives were over. It was the most heart wrenching experience. I would cry every night. Not racking sobs, Slytherins were taught at an early age not to cry, but small, silver, solitary tears would fall down my face every night. My silver eyes woudl gleam with pain. And anyone who was looking for the pain would see it.

Potter saw my pain once. I don't know how, but we were in a fight, and he had said something about my father. I couldn't blame him, I hated my father more than he did. But that one comment was enough for me to let down my defenses for a split second, and Harry saw my pain. He looked at me and he said, "I'm sorry." Then he shook his head and walked away. Not turning back for a second. That was the one time I felt most alive. The one time someone recognized my pain. The one time someone apologized. And it touched me so deeply, that it will stay with me forever.

Ever since then, I have never let my guard down. I have never let my emotions show, because emotions will be the death of us all. So I have prolonged my death. But I no longer see the point. I have nothing left to live for. I don't want to kill another innocent, I don't want to see the pain in my peers' eyes. I don't want to be on the wrong side of this war.

But then again, I never had a choice. I could never rebel against them. Because if I had my father would have killed me. He was not like my great uncle, Sirius Black's father. Uncle Black let his son live, a long as he was ar away from them. Uncle Black had Regulus to carry on the family name. Sirius had a choice.

I don't, I either agree with my father, or die. And I didn't want to die, but now I;m not so sure.

All I ever wanted was a choice. A choice and a real friend. I didn't get either. Never in my life did I have a choice. And never in my life did I have a true friend. I woudl do anything for a choice. I would do anything for a friend, for someone to like me for me. A choice, a friend, those are the things I would die for. But anything would be fine, because my life is no longer worth living.

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**Cole's Useless Ramblings**

This is the last Chapter. I decided not to do Harry, because Somethingto Live For ((The third story in this trilogy)) is going to be all about him. I hope you liked this story. And stay tuned for the sequal, it should be up soon.

This was Draco's story. I love Draco, because he is so very much like me. Only I am just cold and I show no true emotion. Sure I smile, but so does he. It is not true happiness or true joy, all of that is hidden. This is one of my favorite chapters.

Sorry for spelling errors, my word is down ((again!))

I love you all,

Nicole Marie AKA Cole AKA Hope Autumntears


	24. The Sequel is now Up!

Okay, I want to say thankyou to all of my reviewers. You guys are the best!

**The Sequel is now up! It's called The Worst is Over...the Death List will be up shortly.**

The third story will be started sometime this week, after I finish my social studies report.

Till then, I love you guys. Now go read my other story!

-Cole


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